Introduction to my recent shift into a new era

    I sat in bed stewing in a massive flood of emotion last night which I was actually somewhat unfamiliar with.  I wrote 3 songs, not in a jazz format which I usually lean towards, but in a hard metal format that clearly sported lyrics not safe for the youth.  Let’s just say I’d probably never want my family to hear me rage those songs… However, I believe I may be entering my Villain Era.  I say Villain Era but I think I would like to rename it something more befitting such as My Truth Era.

My Truth Era

    I don’t believe this is a Villain era for me but an emphasis of my shadow side breakout.  I may have Borderline Personality Disorder but I am also a massive people pleaser and I have lived my life ALWAYS putting others ahead of myself.  The BPD attributes to my shadow side always trying to pull away.  I’ve always thought I was psychotic and/or that I had a mild case of multiple personality disorder but alas, I am just a tightly wound woman in a world where I was hardwired to be something that serves others and is unhealthy for myself.

    This new era of my life is my anger, rage, and overall mania spilling over from the box I shoved it all into from childhood.  Shadow work is something I’m going to have to dive into.  Radical acceptance of self (all of it) is going to be had.

    I need to love myself enough to stop chasing nonsense or living in the past.  I’ve always been that person to lay in bed at night and spend hours ‘reliving’ my life to make better decisions and doing the things that I regret not doing.  I no longer will live in the past.  I am going to have to familiarize myself with the concept of YOLO and pushing past my fears or discomfort.

    This path is going to be a very enlightening one full of emotion, tears, rage, expression, and self-love.  For those that plan on watching it, kudos.  I’ll make it fun and enlightening.  I’m still the motivational type and I’ll still be rooting for everyone on their self-love journey.  My journey just showed me a path to healing that I would’ve never expected.

I wish you all healing, health, and the life that you want the most!